THAT TIME SHE FELL IN THE KOI POND

Well, it finally happened. I guess it was only a matter of time.  I was already worried sick today because I'd given dear, sweet Cricket Jean a Bully Stick from April's Barkbox against my better judgement.  If you don't know what a Bully Stick is, then I suggest you Google it.  It is foul and disgusting and smells like a salty, rotting carcass, which is, of course, why dogs love it. Anyway. I gave her the Bully Stick and she had a 45 minute love affair with it before swallowing it WHOLE.  It caused all kinds of tummy troubles and she stopped eating for 24 hours so when I got a call from my dog walker I was already speed dialing my vet for some kind of exploratory surgery to get the thing removed.  Instead, my dog walker calmly inquired as to where my non-white towels might live...Turns out CJ decided today was the day she would jump headlong into the koi pond. For most normal dogs, this is no big deal, but swimming isn't really in the French Bulldog wheelhouse.  Girl sank like a stone.  Luckily, my trusty Dogwalker saved her lifeand left her warm and cozy in her little crate.

Cricket Jean has had all kinds of troubles lately -- there was this incident with the Bully Stick, and another where she somehow got into my takeout sushi and wolfed down half a Unagi roll.  Word to the wise, eel avocado and adorable puppies do not mix.  I came home to a disaster I can only describe as worse than watching Human Centipede.  To make matters worse, this Friday is the very special day Cricket becomes a lady. Yup, its high time the lil ho got spayed.  I can't take her anywhere without risking unplanned pregnancy these days. So all of this combined has made for a really difficult time for her.

To ease her pain, I let her watch the one thing she loves more than putting out & Bully Sticks combined -- Katy Perry's Darkhorse Video.  I don't know if its Katy's blue, blue eyes or her harem of cat-slaves, but CJ is mesmerized.  I can literally play it five times back-to-back and she won't move from her spot on the couch. By the time the little Pomeranian comes out dancing, she's already whining for me to restart it.

Which I am happy to do, little girl.  This weekend will be just you, me, the couch and some Katy.  Love you, little boo.