HOW TO BUILD A KOI POND IN 5 EASY STEPS

The moment I committed to rebuilding the glory that was this koi pond, was the moment I sank my summer. I always do this.  I get an idea, I spend an hour or so researching and suddenly I'm convinced its the easiest thing in the world. Which usually means its not.  Although, according to most websites, building your own koi pond can happen 5 Easy Steps:

#1.  DIG A HOLE.  Well.  That part was easy.  But I do need need to dig out the rest of those leaves, dirt, brick and other refuse festering away on the bottom.  I will also need to dismantle the brick edging to get the torn liner out which will be a project.  I'm not really sure whose aesthetic genius was at work when they built this thing out of masonry, marble, slate AND cement, but it was a helluva creative choice.  I'm not buying anything new though.  I'm rebuilding this sucker with what's already there.

#2.  INSTALL A LINER.  Once I get the old one out, I'll need to buy a new one, which seems to be fairly easy online. Except the liner sizing is two dimensional and a pond is three dimensional which means I have to do math and that's always a bit dicey.  This particular hole measures 3'10" X 6'3".  I know enough about estimating that its roughly 4' X 6'. (i.e.numbers my brain can handle.)  Apparently a cubic foot can hold 7.48 gallons, so if this pond is 2' deep, it can hold roughly 360 gallons of water. This leads me to believe an 8'x10' liner will be too small, but a 10'x10' liner might be ok, only how does one make a square into a rectangle, especially three-dimensionally?  Maybe its better to get a 10'x12' and just bury the extra under the dirt and brick?  Numbers are hard.

#3.  FILL HOLE WITH WATER.  TREAT WITH WATER CONDITIONER.  I think I can handle this part.

#4.  INSTALL AN AIR PUMP.  This too.    This kit comes with one and I follow directions well, so should be all good. I'll have to figure out how to hide the electrical cord behind the shed, but seems totally doable to me.

#5.  ADD SOME KOI.  So, as it turns out, theses bad boys go for about a thousand a pop.  And while part of me thinks its totally worth it, my Mint.com account says its not.  After a little research, I've learned "Fancy Goldfish" are acceptable to use too. Here are the ones I'm eyeing below:

Exhibit A: The Chinese Black Moor

Exhibit B: The Comet Goldfish

Exhibit C: The Fantail Goldfish

I'm a little concerned that adding fish to the equation might exacerbate my cat problem, but I'm willing to give it a shot.  And for those of you worried about Jesse Pinkman, fret not.  Even though Red Cap Organda's are known to thrive in pond situations, JP's a house fish, guys.  I wouldn't do that to him.  

Don't worry, guys.  I'll stay in my fish condo.

Today's NEW TO-DO LIST:

1.  GET RID OF CATS...BETTER.
2.  FIX GIANT HOLE.  BUY SUPPLIES FOR KOI POND!
3.  MAKE DECISION ABOUT CRAWLING VINES.
4.  GROW A LAWN!
5.  DON'T FORGET THE STRAWBALES ARE COMING.
6.  CLEAN OUT POND & REMOVE OLD LINER.
7.  BEGIN STRAWBALE DECOMPOSITION.
8.  BUY "FANCY" FISH.
9.  REBUILD KOI POND.