A WICKED GARDEN

American Gothic.

Well, it happened.  The koi pond is in! The edging is still a little janky, but I'll keep working on it until its level. Turns out landscaping is a lot of hard, back-breaking work.  Hours and hours of it.  I can only imagine what the neighbors think.  Here's some wacko girl in a bikini and cut offs circa 1992 waist-deep in a pit just about killing herself shoveling mounds of topsoil and rubble.  I've come to find out bikinis are not the best attire for shoveling; I have cuts and bruises everywhere and even the manicurist gave up on getting all the dirt out of my fingernails. But its done.  And I got some good sun! The whole thing just sorta happened and it didn't take very long to fill with water either.  I spent the remainder of the afternoon attempting to level the ground to lay out all the decking tiles...which, as you can see, was only moderately successful.  Its going to drive me nuts, but I'll give it another solid attempt next week.

Every time I start that fountain, I just start laughing.  Its just so absurd.

The fountain was a toughie, mostly because I lost the directions and tried to figure it out myself. Not quite like building Legos, but I got it in the end.  Next, I sunk the real lily pad seedlings underwater and floated a couple fake ones on top, and lined the whole bottom with slate so my future fish babies will have places to hide.  I had high hopes of getting the lawn done after all that, but my legs stopped working. Instead, Cricket and I spent a lazy Sunday lying out in the sun and playing fetch and drinking ice cold cans of Budweiser because this is America and that is what you do godammit.

Cricket Jean pondering the laws of physics.  

After this long weekend's adventure, I have two things to say:  

#1 There is something incredibly satisfying about building something with your own hands (even if it is a little janky).  Some days I wonder why I never became a contractor or a great builder of furniture.  I guess, in some ways, its a little bit like writing.  You put in all that effort and trial and error and blood and sweat and in the end you actually have something to show for it. 

#2. For reasons I can't quite explain, this backyard has quickly turned into some mystical, magical Tolkienesque realm.  None of my neighbor's backyards look like this.  They're all bright and cheery with above-ground pools and bocce courts and kiddie houses (or, as the British like to call them, "Wendy Houses.")***  But whenever I take pictures back here there's always mist and shadows, solar flares and tangled vines.  It has its own wild, ecosystem out here and it's quickly growing into some kind of wicked forest or Elven kingdom or something. Getting some greenery in here should help...maybe I can transform it into Fern Gully by May?

Lothlorien? Is that you?*

 THIS WEEK'S TO DO LIST: 

- PICK UP FERTILIZER, TOPSOIL, GRASS SEED, SEEDLINGS, PLANTERS, IKEA GREENHOUSE 

- RECONSIDER ARBOR

- BEGIN STRAWBALE PREP

- START SEEDLINGS IN GREENHOUSE

- BUY POND TREATMENT & FANCY FISH

- PLANT LAWN

- SIGH. TEEPEE.

*  If you don't get any of these blatant LOTR references, get out of here.  You shouldn't be reading this anyway.

*** My friend from the UK once told me this story about the time this dude knocked down her "Wendy House" and the whole time I was convinced it was some obscure British euphemism for deflowerment.  Turns out its just what they call children's playhouses. Obviously, its my new favorite thing.