IN DEFENSE OF THAT CROSSFIT THING

A month and a half ago, I joined the cult of CrossFit. I'd always been curious about what goes down inside those "boxes" or whatever it is they call them, so one night after binging on last season's Madmen, I impulsively bought a Foundations introductory package to see what it's all about. The reaction from my family and friends was fairly hilarious -- most people assumed I was going to end up paralyzed or brainwashed or worse.  The general consensus seemed to be "If you're going to do this, I don't wanna hear about it."  Well, 9 classes later it's safe to say I'm hooked. They sure know how to suck you in. The social psychology behind this whole enterprise is pretty brilliant, actually. There's a pack mentality involved with this kind of social workout. You show up the first day and are immediately surrounded by hard bodied, strong as nails men and women, there's heavy metal blaring from the speakers, and before you've even begum learning about WODs and AMRAPs and "The Girls" or what have you, you want in. I mean who doesn't want to look like that? Then you look closer and you see there are people like you there, girls in running tights and yoga pants, scrawny dudes spotting some grandpa bench pressing away in the corner, or fuller figured folks losing that 50 lbs, and they're all busting ass, working just as hard as the ripped Adonis snatching 300 pounds overhead. I can do this, you think. If I put the work in, I can be this person too.

Then there's this other element. I once read somewhere that nothing makes you feel young again like learning something new. There is something really special about trying something and finding out you're really, really bad at it. We adults strut around our comfort zones it took us 30 years to build, doing what we do best and doing it well, because that's the recipe for success in America.  You sort out your strengths from your weaknesses early on, pursue things you're good at and keep at it, which is great and comfortable except it gets kinda boring. You meet the same kinda of people, do the same kinds of things and at some point you just feel plain old and wizened and set in your stubborn ways.  I'm telling you, there is nothing like hoisting a barbell over your head to make you realize there is plenty left in this world that you know absolutely nothing about. You're terrible and it's embarrassing and they're constantly adjusting you and pointing out what you need to work on and you realize you haven't felt this way since rope climbing in 6th period gym class, or the time you botched the word "ecclesiastic" at the spelling bee. 

And then there are the results. If you're doing CrossFit, you've probably also gotten sucked into the whole Paleo or Primitive lifestyle thing which is actually one of the easier things I've ever tried.  After completing Tracy Anderson's magical Metamorphosis puree program, Paleo feels like you're eating the world!  Now I'm not knocking Tracy, girl knows what she's doing if you want to look good.  I lost 30 lbs off that dang DVD series and it helped me reprogram what I put in my body and why.  Funnily enough, I happened to run into her recently and just about ripped off her twiggy, little arm thanking her for changing my life.  Its true. Homegirl has cornered the market for sculpting hot, useless bodies good for sex and bad hiphop dancing. But while I liked my results, I was tired of feeling useless all the time. I wanted this body to be capable of other things too.  But the real reason this Crossfit/Paleo lifestyle has hooked me, is the results. They are FAST.  I've been doing this only a month and a half and I can see marked, visual changes already. While your body weight doesn't change all that drastically, you can more or less watch the fat melting off your body which is super awesome.  Plus, aside from being INSTANT sore all the damn time, you just generally feel better.  I'm lactose intolerant and gluten-sensitive and removing both those from my diet has made me a much happier, more energetic person.  Its the point where the minute I  have a couple french fries or Pirates Booty or vodka sauce,  I'm immediately sick to my stomach for the rest of the night and because I associate that feeling with those foods, I generally don't crave them anymore. (That's not to say, I don't still enjoy an ice cold beer every once in a while.  I'm not insane, people).

So I'm doing this three days a week. And I'm cooking Paleo every night. And I'm even keeping up the Tracy Continuity DVDs on my off-days and throwing in a little running in for good measure.   So sue me.  It makes me happy.

I will not be silenced.